Book review: Playing For Keeps, Sweet Valley High #49
The A Plot: Ahh, now this is the Sweet Valley High I remember; I think I probably read this one (unlike Soap Star or Jessica Against Bruce) back in the day. I certainly remember the silly artwork of Jessica with her arms around homely A. J. Morgan, looking all "sweet" and "innocent" (read: like Liz). This one was originally published in 1988, so the timeframe certainly coincides with my most fervent SVH-worshipping.
The A plot follows Jessica's attempts to "win" A. J. Morgan, an Atlanta boy who's just transferred to Sweet Valley (as part of the events of the previous volume, Slam Book Fever). Because of the events of SBF -- which I know I read back in the day for sure, but of which I cannot find a copy, so I'll have to go off my fuzzy recollections and what PFK fills in -- Jessica knows that A. J. doesn't like "pushy" types, and he has somehow has gotten the idea that Jess is meek, quiet and serious. We all know that that's not our Jess, and furthermore, we know that she's got that deep-seated "pride" in flitting from dude to dude without a thought, but for some reason, being A. J.'s girlfriend has suddenly become the primary main objective, so Jess thinks she must keep up the charade no! matter! what!, making herself, A. J., Liz, and all of Sweet Valley (not to mention your intrepid reviewer) miserable in the process.
So, you guys know I feel about Liz's sanctimonious do-gooder, dorky-activity-loving bullshit, right? And you know how I cling to Jess's crazy antics (despite their triteness) for a reprieve from Liz's crap? Well, imagine my dismay, then, that in this book we've got BOTH twins pulling that infuriating "Gee, shucks, we don't need to go on a date, let's just help this old lady and then discuss world hunger," schtick. I mean, this shit gets painful. Every single time A. J. and Jess are together, she does something annoying. They go to the Dairi Burger, and Jess acts like she's above gossiping with Lila and steps all over everyone's jokes. A. J. takes her hiking at Secca Lake, and she pretends to be all about bird watching and won't even kiss the dude. They go to the beach, and Jess won't go swimming. I mean, for God's sake, what is pushy or frivilous about swimming, Jessica?
Even the facts that Jess is faking, and that she returns to her usual form in a very public (and very cheesy -- more on this later) fashion, don't help, because when Jess isn't polishing her Lizzie act in front of A. J., she's mooning about ways to actually become this person, writing horrible poetry and trying to care about the environment, or else she's fretting that A. J. is going to leave her ass. About this she's nearly right, not because she's not playing Elizabeth well enough, but because a) she's so afraid of losing him, she refuses to have an option about anything, and b) she's SUCH a goody-goody that A. J. becomes bored with her and becomes attracted to this completely ridiculous vampy character he meets at the beach, one "Pamela Jansen".
A word about Pamela -- I know SVH characters tend to be simultaneously way too sophistocated for high school and way too naive, what with their constant attending of high-class balls and "seductive smiles" and complete ignorance and lack of curiosity about teh sex, but Pamela is such a cartoon that she doesn't even make sense in the context of Sweet Valley. I mean, she is obviously all about teh sex, luring A. J. to her house sans parents, then inviting him for a dip in the hot tub (which her family keeps in the greenhouse? Even though their house is on a cliff with a kick-ass view of the ocean? WTF?), but she is just SOO one-dimensional (as opposed to the 1.5-2 dimensions of the other characters). Plus, she's got dark, curly hair, which we all know is SVH code for boring or evil. Pamela manages to be both, so good on her, I guess.
Also? Bitch is stupid, but I guess that's fortunate, since it's her stupid plan to humiliate Jessica that finally causes Jess to dump the stupid Lizzie act, reveal herself to A. J., and win a closet full of free hideous clothes in the process. Which brings us to...
The B Plot: You see, Lisette's is holding a fashion show for a famous designer (who needs Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week or Project Runway when you've got Sweet Valley?), and instead of real models, they're casting local teenagers for the show, which is also a competition. The winner will become the new "face" of the designer's line and win a free custom-designed wardrobe. Jessica, of course, is wild to participate, but what will A. J. think? After all, a sweet, demure, serious girl like Elizica would never do something as frivilous as model!
We all know where this is going, right? Jessica winds up finding a way to sign up for the fashion show, passing it off as a joke so A. J. won't think "badly" of her for it, and ends up pitted against... Pamela Jansen. Thus, the fashion show becomes more than just a competition for ugly clothes, but for A. J.'s heart as well. I'm not exactly sure how this is supposed to work, since Jess thinks A. J. doesn't like fashion shows, and presumably she thinks A. J. would think Pamela's a big ho for doing it in the first place, but she is worried about Pamela, but she can't fight back against Pamela's obvious and cheap ploys because then A. J. would know that Jess herself is shallow, but somehow Pamela's being shallow doesn't make her less of a threat, and... oof. My brain hurts.
The book's big climax comes at the fashion show, where Pamela has sabatoged all of Jessica's clothes, but our girl makes it work anyway, then finally loses it and tells Pamela off in front of the entire audience, which of course includes her family, A. J., and the entire population of Sweet Valley, it seems like. Obviously, this means that Jess is declared the undisputed winner, Pamela's dirty tricks are exposed and she is humiliated, and A. J. realizes that Jessica is a badass, and was his type of girl all along. Yawn... I mean, yay!
Miscellany: Despite the hackeneyed plot, as-stereotypical-as-ever characters, and the intensly-annoying Lizzieocity that Jessica displays nearly throughout, there are some things I really enjoyed about this book. For one, it's sort of awesome the way Lila and Amy rally around Jess when she's sad. Not that her shallow ass deserves such loyalty, but it's a nice touch. Also, I chuckled when Jess is all acting like a limp rag on her awkward double date with Elizabeth and Todd, and when Liz calls her on her shit, Jess is all, "I'm just trying to be like you!". Suck it, Liz!
